The way of in Vietnam is just so different from ours. Of course, in the different areas, Hanoi, Nam Dinh, Vo Nhai, Mai Chau, the ways that their life is different, differ from one another. But just the general way of life and common comforts and way that they see life are just different from my life and it is a sharp reality check. I do not want to pose it in a have and have not light, nor in a poverty and wealth light, because I think that is is demeaning and their is nothing about their lifestyle that deserves to be demeaned and so much about mine that does; but I know with modern Western eyes, that is not what would happen. I just want to focus on the ways of life being different and that as a spoiled American, a lot of those differences were hard on me and time after time, the strength and happiness of our Vietnamese interpreters was a harsh reminder what a shallow person I have become.
Hanoi is a big, bustling city with scooters and cars everywhere. But it doesn’t look like a big, bustling city in any Western country. There are people just sitting on plastic chairs and step stools on the street eating food that has been prepared in woks on the street over open fires. Little stores are in people’s houses, houses don’t have furniture. People just throw the trash in the street and people walk around it. Scooters don’t have any rules really and they drive every way on the street and ignore traffic signals and other cars. Whole families riding on the scooters without helmets, people use them like trucks carrying all the huge things they can carry. People don’t wear shoes all the time, and they don’t wear fancy clothes, they don’t commute to big office buildings where they work for other people doing mindless things. They farm, they make things, they make thread and sew things, they make food and sell it, they make souvenirs and sell them, they tend and kill animals, they are connected to the work and the land and to what money they make from it. They live in the same place that they give massages or sell cokes and water or food, They don’t spend time with make up and doing their hair and having a ton of extra stuff. They don’t have big closets or houses with lots of extra space. If there is extra space, they rent it out or it seems to go unused.
Everywhere we went, people were kind and generous. People would give us free tea at the Coffee Houses, at the Massage Places, at the hotels, at the little food places on the side of the street. Street vendors would warn us to hide our money and phones because they were honest, but others might not be. People would help us by telling us the best food and where to go to get the best food. They would use their own phones to use their Grab app to call us a car (Vietnam’s UBER) so we wouldn’t have to risk taking a cab. They would give us change back when we got confused with their huge amounts of money and overpaid them in Dong and they could have kept the excess. They hugged us when meeting us and offered coffee and tea and treats when they would meet us as the schools or other functions. Everywhere we went we were met with kindness and hospitality and above and beyond help without proof of anything. We asked if we could keep our luggage at a hotel for 2 days so we wouldn’t have to lug it around Hong Kong, the owner said yes, before we even explained that we would be staying at his hotel on the way back through.
Hanoi is a big, bustling city with scooters and cars everywhere. But it doesn’t look like a big, bustling city in any Western country. There are people just sitting on plastic chairs and step stools on the street eating food that has been prepared in woks on the street over open fires. Little stores are in people’s houses, houses don’t have furniture. People just throw the trash in the street and people walk around it. Scooters don’t have any rules really and they drive every way on the street and ignore traffic signals and other cars. Whole families riding on the scooters without helmets, people use them like trucks carrying all the huge things they can carry. People don’t wear shoes all the time, and they don’t wear fancy clothes, they don’t commute to big office buildings where they work for other people doing mindless things. They farm, they make things, they make thread and sew things, they make food and sell it, they make souvenirs and sell them, they tend and kill animals, they are connected to the work and the land and to what money they make from it. They live in the same place that they give massages or sell cokes and water or food, They don’t spend time with make up and doing their hair and having a ton of extra stuff. They don’t have big closets or houses with lots of extra space. If there is extra space, they rent it out or it seems to go unused.
Everywhere we went, people were kind and generous. People would give us free tea at the Coffee Houses, at the Massage Places, at the hotels, at the little food places on the side of the street. Street vendors would warn us to hide our money and phones because they were honest, but others might not be. People would help us by telling us the best food and where to go to get the best food. They would use their own phones to use their Grab app to call us a car (Vietnam’s UBER) so we wouldn’t have to risk taking a cab. They would give us change back when we got confused with their huge amounts of money and overpaid them in Dong and they could have kept the excess. They hugged us when meeting us and offered coffee and tea and treats when they would meet us as the schools or other functions. Everywhere we went we were met with kindness and hospitality and above and beyond help without proof of anything. We asked if we could keep our luggage at a hotel for 2 days so we wouldn’t have to lug it around Hong Kong, the owner said yes, before we even explained that we would be staying at his hotel on the way back through.
When we visited Vo Nhai, the things were about the same, but less. Vo Nhai was a much smaller village and so all of the things that we saw in Hanoi were there, just on a lesser degree. You could see that people lived and worked in one room, that people parked their cars or scooters in their front rooms and slept on the floor. That there wasn’t much industry and that people did what they could and that the children were left alone while the parents were working. There isn’t air conditioning, there isn’t power, actually, we found out that the power was turned off a lot to make sure there was enough for government buildings and factories leaving the villages without power at unknown times for unknown hours. People lounged around in the heat of the day and sang songs and played games and enjoyed each other’s company when it is too hot to work. They work early in the morning and late at night, but have this great down time mid day.
In Mai Chau, an even smaller village in the mountain region, the same pattern was continued. It was the same, but more relaxed because there were less stores and less buildings and less places for people to work. They worked as farmers and ranchers and some went off and lived and worked off in the large factories like SAMSUNG and left their families, including small children, for weeks at a time to earn money there. The large groups of kids were kind of left with aunts or grandmas as the parents went away with cell phones and only minor supervision because the aunt or grandma is running a Home Stay or keeping the family restaurant going.
In Mai Chau they used banana leaves as wash clothes, as dish rags, as sponges, as toilet paper. Basically, if we use a piece of material for it, they use a banana leaf. They also just slept on mats on the floor that they would move in the morning and worn the same clothes day after day. They went down to the river to swim in the water in the afternoon and walked to their old ranch to pick mangoes and avocados for a special treats. The whole thing is just worlds away from going to Disneyland or planning a vacation to Europe to spend thousands of dollars on excess.
In Mai Chau they used banana leaves as wash clothes, as dish rags, as sponges, as toilet paper. Basically, if we use a piece of material for it, they use a banana leaf. They also just slept on mats on the floor that they would move in the morning and worn the same clothes day after day. They went down to the river to swim in the water in the afternoon and walked to their old ranch to pick mangoes and avocados for a special treats. The whole thing is just worlds away from going to Disneyland or planning a vacation to Europe to spend thousands of dollars on excess.
The thing is, their lives are just simpler without so much of the trappings that my life has. They don’t have a ton of clothes to wash and dry and pick what to wear and with who and when and where to drive and who to invite where and why. They aren’t worrying about getting their kids to 4 different afterschool programs or me to 3 different jobs. They aren’t running to different places that are 45 minutes apart but everything just minutes from where they live. They make and eat simple things and they don’t worry about affording to go eat at fancy restaurants and getting their nails done, hair dyed, and their existential crisis about if their job is fulfilling. They also just kind of let the kids run around and play and be free. They didn’t hyper watch over them or try and over parent them, but allowing them to be kids. That is so against a lot of our Western sensibilities, but look at the Vietnamese people as a whole, the are kind and generous and hospitable and giving and hard working and this way of life has led to this being the national personality.